You’ve just had a baby. Everyone expects you to feel overjoyed, but maybe you’re feeling weepy, anxious, or just… low. If you’ve found yourself crying without knowing why, snapping at your partner, or wondering when you’ll feel like “you” again, you’re not alone.
It’s completely normal to experience a range of emotions after giving birth. But how do you tell the difference between the baby blues and something more serious - like postnatal depression?
Here, our midwife explores the signs, timing, and emotional shifts that can occur after birth, helping you recognise when it’s time to ask for support - and reminding you that it’s okay to not be okay.
What Are the Baby Blues?
The baby blues affect around 80% of new mums in the first few days after giving birth. They’re caused by the sudden drop in pregnancy hormones - especially oestrogen and progesterone - as well as sleep deprivation and the emotional overwhelm of caring for a newborn.
Common baby blues symptoms:
- Tearfulness
- Mood swings
- Feeling anxious or overwhelmed
- Irritability
- Feeling sensitive or “not yourself”
These feelings typically start around day 3–5 postpartum and usually ease on their own within a week. You may find the emotional fog lifts as your hormones begin to stabilise and you settle into a rhythm with your baby.
What Is Postnatal Depression?
Postnatal depression (PND) is more than just feeling down or tired. It affects around 1 in 10 parents and can start anytime in the first year after birth - not just in the early days.
PND is a mental health condition that deserves compassion and proper treatment. Left untreated, it can affect your ability to care for yourself and your baby - but with support, you can recover.
Signs of Postnatal Depression
Postnatal depression symptoms can vary, but commonly include:
- Persistent sadness or low mood
- Feeling numb, empty or hopeless
- Loss of interest or pleasure in things you used to enjoy
- Struggling to bond with your baby
- Feeling like a failure or a “bad parent”
- Anxiety, irritability or panic
- Difficulty sleeping (even when baby sleeps)
- Poor appetite or overeating
- ‘Flashbacks’ from the birth that are distressing or getting upset when reflecting on the birth
- Thoughts of harming yourself or feeling like your family would be better off without you
Maternal Mental Health Alliance’s symptom checker is a helpful way to be aware of common ‘red flag’ symptoms of perinatal and postnatal mental illness.
What’s the Difference?
| Symptom | Baby Blues | Postnatal Depression |
|---|---|---|
| Timing | Days 3–5 after birth | Anytime in the first year |
| Duration | Lasts a few days to a week | Lasts more than 2 weeks |
| Mood | Emotional, tearful, moody | Persistent low mood, disinterest |
| Thoughts | Ups and downs, overwhelmed | Guilt, worthlessness, despair |
| Bonding | Feels present despite emotions | May struggle to connect with baby |
| Appetite/sleep | Affected by baby’s routine | Ongoing issues unrelated to baby |
If symptoms persist or interfere with your ability to function, it’s time to seek support.
Can Dads and Partners Get Postnatal Depression?
Yes. Postnatal depression isn’t limited to the person who gave birth. Non-birthing parents, partners, and adoptive parents can also experience PND—particularly if they’re sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, or lacking emotional support.
Signs are often similar but may be harder to spot due to social expectations. If your partner is withdrawing, angry, anxious, or struggling emotionally, encourage them to speak to their GP. Dadsnet and Family Action (supporting families of any kind) are great resources.
What About Postnatal Anxiety?
Anxiety can occur alone or alongside depression. You might feel:
- Constant worry that something bad will happen
- Difficulty relaxing or sleeping
- Racing thoughts
- Panic attacks or fear of being alone with the baby
- Checking on the baby obsessively
- Physical symptoms like nausea, tension, or palpitations
These are treatable - and very common. You don’t need to wait until things feel unmanageable.
When to Seek Help
If your symptoms:
- Last more than two weeks
- Affect your ability to care for yourself or your baby
- Interfere with sleep, appetite, or relationships
- Include thoughts of self-harm or hopelessness
…it’s time to speak to your GP, health visitor, or midwife. You won’t be judged. You will be supported.
How Is Postnatal Depression Treated?
Treatment depends on your symptoms and preferences, and may include:
- Talking therapies (e.g. CBT or counselling)
- Peer support groups
- Antidepressants, which are often safe to use while breastfeeding
- Lifestyle support, like rest, gentle movement, and nutrition
You are not expected to “snap out of it.” Recovery is a journey - but with help, it is absolutely possible. Remember - asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness - it’s a step toward healing.
Midwife’s Top Tips
- If your low mood lasts more than two weeks, speak to your GP or health visitor
- You are not alone - PND affects many new parents
- Baby blues usually lift quickly - depression sticks around
- Make time for small joys each day (music, a bath, fresh air)
- Your feelings are valid - and you are not a failure
- If you have suffered with PND before, it is advisable to get support before this baby is born as it is more likely to affect you again
You’re adjusting to an entirely new life, and it’s normal to feel out of sorts. But if sadness, anxiety, or emptiness take over, you don’t have to carry it alone.
The baby blues are common. Postnatal depression is treatable. And you are not broken - you are a new parent doing their best in a demanding time. Help is out there. Asking for it is one of the bravest things you can do.
