Having a baby changes everything - your body, your sleep, your routines, your relationships, and your mental health. While it's common to feel tired, emotional, or overwhelmed after giving birth, sometimes those feelings can develop into something more.
If you're reading this and wondering whether what you’re feeling is “normal,” please know this: you are not alone, and support is available.
This guide will help you recognise signs of postnatal mental health issues, understand what’s normal in the early days, and know when, and how to ask for help.
The Baby Blues vs Postnatal Depression
Around 8 in 10 new mums experience the baby blues - a short-lived emotional dip usually around day 3–5 after giving birth. It’s linked to sudden hormonal changes and often includes:
- Tearfulness for no obvious reason
- Feeling emotionally fragile or anxious
- Irritability or mood swings
- Overwhelm and weepiness
The baby blues usually pass within a week. But if these feelings don’t improve or worsen, it may be something more - like postnatal depression or postnatal anxiety.
What Is Postnatal Depression?
Postnatal depression (PND) affects around 1 in 10 birthing parents, but it can affect partners too. It can start anytime in the first year after birth, not just in the early days.
Common signs include:
- Persistent low mood, sadness, or numbness
- ‘Flashbacks’ from the birth that are distressing or getting upset when reflecting on the birth
- Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
- Feeling disconnected from your baby
- Struggling to bond or feeling like a “bad parent”
- Irritability, guilt, or hopelessness
- Sleep problems (beyond the usual newborn waking)
- Changes in appetite or energy
- Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
You don’t have to experience all of these to be struggling, and needing support doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
What Is Postnatal Anxiety?
While postnatal depression gets more attention, anxiety is just as common. You might feel:
- Constant worry or dread
- Racing thoughts, panic, or fear something bad will happen
- Trouble relaxing, even when baby is calm
- Physical symptoms like nausea, shakiness, or heart palpitations
- Compulsively checking on your baby, even when they’re safe
If your anxiety is interfering with your day-to-day functioning, it’s time to speak to someone.
Postnatal OCD and Intrusive Thoughts
Many new parents experience intrusive thoughts - sudden, scary, or unwanted thoughts or images about harm coming to their baby. These can be deeply distressing, especially when they feel out of character.
Examples include:
- Imagining dropping the baby
- Fear of accidentally suffocating your baby
- Avoiding stairs, baths, or sharp objects “just in case”
Having these thoughts does not mean you want to harm your baby. They are often a symptom of postnatal OCD or heightened anxiety, and they are treatable with support.
When Should You Ask for Help?
You deserve support as soon as you feel you need it, even if you’re not sure what’s going on.
Speak to your GP, health visitor, or midwife if:
- You feel persistently low, numb, or anxious
- You're struggling to bond with your baby
- You’re not enjoying anything - not even things that usually help
- You feel like you're "going through the motions"
- You’re having intrusive or distressing thoughts
- You just feel not yourself
- You can only seem to focus on the events around your birth which cause upset
These are not signs of failure. They are signals that your brain and body need care, just like if you’d broken a bone or had an infection.
What Support Is Available?
Talking Therapies
Many people find counselling or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) helps manage anxiety and depression. These can be accessed via your GP or self-referral in most areas of the UK.
Medication
If needed, antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications can be prescribed - even if you’re breastfeeding. Your GP will help you choose something safe and suitable.
Peer Support
Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who's been there. Look for:
- Local mum and baby groups
- Maternal Mental Health Alliance
- PANDAS Foundation
- Mind
- Birth Trauma Association
- Bliss
- Cry-sis
- SANDS
- The Breastfeeding Network
- Fertility Network UK
- Lullaby Trust
What If You Don’t Feel “Sad”, Just Not Yourself?
Postnatal mental health struggles aren’t always obvious. You might look like you're coping to everyone else but feel numb, disconnected, or on edge inside.
You don’t need to be in crisis to ask for help.
You might say:
- “I’m not sure I’m coping as well as I thought I would.”
- “I feel like I’m watching life happen, not living it.”
- “I love my baby, but I don’t feel like myself.”
These are valid. Your midwife, GP or health visitor will understand.
Midwife’s Top Tips
- If you feel low or anxious most of the day, most days, ask for help
- The baby blues last a few days, anything longer needs support
- Sleep deprivation can magnify everything, rest is essential
- Your brain needs recovery time too, it’s just as important as your body
- Asking for help isn’t a weakness, it’s a powerful first step
You’ve just brought a life into the world. And that matters. But so do you.
