Becoming a parent changes everything - your sleep, your body, your routine, your relationships… and sometimes, your sense of self. If you’re feeling a little lost after having a baby, please know this: you are not alone.
Many new mums say they don’t quite feel like “themselves” in the early weeks and months after giving birth. And that’s completely normal. Your world has shifted. Your body has changed. Your priorities have expanded.
But that doesn’t mean the old you is gone. She’s still there - just evolving.
Why You Might Feel Disconnected After Birth
Postpartum recovery is about more than stitches and sleep - it’s also about navigating identity changes, role shifts, and the emotional intensity of becoming a parent.
You might feel:
- Unsure of who you are outside of caring for your baby
- Physically different in ways you weren’t prepared for
- Emotionally stretched or numbed by exhaustion
- Guilty for missing your old life or independence
All of these feelings are valid. You haven’t lost yourself; you’ve just been transformed. It’s okay to mourn the before and make space for the new.
1. Honour Your Postpartum Body
Your body may not look, feel, or move the way it used to - and that can be disorienting. Instead of rushing to “get back,” try shifting focus to what your body has done:
- Grown and carried life
- Delivered your baby, however birth unfolded
- Nourished, healed, adapted, and kept going
Support your physical recovery with:
- Nourishing food that fuels energy and repair
- Pelvic floor and core-friendly exercise when you feel ready
- Comfy, supportive clothes that make you feel good now—not “someday”
- Exploring our Post-Birth Relief range to help ease discomfort
2. Create Space for You (Even if It’s Just 10 Minutes)
Time to yourself might feel impossible - but even a few minutes can make a difference.
Try:
- A hot shower, without interruptions
- A walk or gentle stretch
- Journaling or voice notes to yourself
- Listening to a favourite song, podcast, or meditation
- Painting your nails or changing your bedsheets - anything that feels you
Tiny acts of self-care = big emotional impact. Ask for support from your partner or family and friends to find a little space to be you again.
3. Reconnect With Old Joys and New Rhythms
You don’t need to go straight back to hobbies or routines. But staying in touch with things that brought you joy pre-baby can help you feel more grounded.
Start small:
- Read one chapter of a book
- Text a friend you miss
- Watch a favourite show
It’s not indulgent—it’s essential.
4. Accept That “Normal” Might Look Different
Instead of striving for the old version of yourself, ask:
- What does the new version of me need?
- How can I integrate parts of the old me into this new life?
You’re not going back. You’re going forward with new wisdom, depth, and resilience. And yes, it’s okay to miss what was, even as you embrace what is.
5. Let Go of Comparison
Social media might suggest other mums are thriving, glowing, and “bouncing back” effortlessly. But most are just sharing the highlight reel.
Your pace is your own. If today’s win is brushing your teeth or managing a solo walk with the baby - that counts.
6. Talk to Someone Who Gets It
Feeling low, lost, or emotionally numb beyond the baby blues? You might be experiencing postnatal depression or anxiety, and help is available.
Signs include:
- Persistent sadness or irritability
- Feeling detached from your baby or loved ones
- Constant worry or fear
- Loss of interest in things you usually enjoy
Reach out to your GP, midwife, or a charity like PANDAS Foundation or Maternal Mental Health Alliance to seek support.
You’re never alone - and you’re never weak for asking for help.
Midwife’s Top Tips
- Celebrate small wins - they’re still progress
- Reframe “me time” as essential recovery, not a luxury
- You don’t have to go back - you get to move forward with grace
- Keep a few pre-baby habits going (a playlist, morning cuppa, favourite scent)
- Talk to other new mums - it makes a world of difference
You may not feel like “yourself” right now - but you’re still here. Wiser. Stronger. More capable than you know.
Give yourself time. Be gentle in the rediscovery. And remember: feeling like you again doesn't mean being exactly the same. It means honouring every version of you - including the one you’re becoming.
