Hey Remi,

There are so many changes coming to you. Clearly the first was becoming a ma.

In my personal experience, I’d label your birth story as harrowing. Quite unlike you’d expected. But we’re not here to talk about that.

I wanted to let you know that you’re on the right path. When you have a baby, your friendships go through a readjustment period; if you’re a younger mum, as you were, that can feel amplified.

While you were learning about colostrum and sterilisers, your friends were still at uni, or looking for a grad job. It’s the distance between the stages of your lives that’s so boldly obvious. It’s as though you’ve skipped 5 years ahead, but you feel like you’re living someone else’s life. Maybe it’s because your friends’ lives seem more familiar than your own. Maybe it’s because being a newborn mum is life-altering and you’re actually revelling in the seclusion of your baby bubble.

Mine was the former…For a while it was really hard to see so many relationships in my world change so rapidly. The relationship with myself and my mental health took a nosedive, too.

Interestingly I learned that not all changes or endings are bad. They say people come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime. I like to look back now and think our paths just became unaligned. Also the friendships that survive the fourth trimester with you become indispensable.

They’re the ones who will remind you of who you were before motherhood. Some days you’ll love that, others you’ll resent it. They’re the ones who will babysit on a whim, hold you as you mourn a failed relationship on the kitchen floor, send you funny memes daily and bring the breast pads at 2am.

Cherish them, and yourself, this Mother’s Day.

Rem x

 

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